Friday, 15 February 2008

Je reviens!

Yup, here we go again!

Cue trumpets, cue drum roll! Cue spotlights, expectation and sudden intake of breath all round. Cue, in fact, amazement.

The Daily Brute is back!

Well, sort of.

I know I have been missing of late. Oh! Where were those instant, cruel lacerations of the Bottler and his government of none of the talents? Where were those incisive highlights of his and their utter ineptitude? Where were those piercing insights into his and their hopeless failings? Where, more particularly, were those unanswerably withering responses to Ed Balls's clunking attempts to position himself as the natural successor to El Gordo (Ha! Ha! and Ha! again)? Where were the Brute's compelling exposures of Gordo's preposterous claims of 10 years of growth-full-employment-lowest-ever-inflation-unprecendented-record-of-economic-success?

Where, in short, was the Daily Brute's daily scorning, always justified, of Gordo's weird, scarcely human, always hesitant, never convincing, pretend attempt to be prime minister (a job that can always be yours if you huff and puff enough and stamp your feet while sulking and threatening to burst into tears at any minute – provided you don't have to worry about being voted in of course – or take the blame if it all goes wrong)?

Good questions.

Well, the Brute been working (however shockingly badly paid). Meaning busy. But he has also been thinking. Thinking that there can surely never have been any government this inept. That, whatever the pleasure of seeing Gordo and his grisly gang run out of office (as they undoubtably will be), the price we will all pay – a ruined economy, schools incapable of imparting even basic knowledge, hospitals that cost billions and cure no one, a transport system buggered in every sense, councils grown mad on self importance, an army left defenceless and demoralised, and, worst of all, 300 years of painfully won national sovereignty willfully handed over to a group of unelected pen pushers and bullies in Brussels in direct defiance of an explicit manifesto promise – will be horrifying high.

It is a seriously grim prospect.

The only consolation – and it will be meagre – will be the Bottler attempting, ridiculously, to justify himself.

That might make me laugh.

Not much else will.

6 comments:

Sir Henry Morgan said...

Maybe it's Captain Paranoia sitting on my shoulder and whispering in my ear but ... but ... I actually don't think they are inept. I keep having this thought nagging away at me that you can't get to be government of this country if you are inept. So I've come to the conclusion that what's going on is deliberate.

It's just that we don't yet see the agenda they're working to.

For them, that's a good thing because I think that if the British people could see the agenda it would result in an instant insurrection.

Peter Horne said...

Good grief, I thought you'd been "disappeared" for crimes against socialism.

The Creator said...

Old Horne, Je suis toujours la. Te peux compter sur moi (sometimes).

But good to hear from you.

Shoes OK?

Think I might buy a new pair next week. (Note stress on 'might': no point getting carried away – calm heads called for all round).

Exciting, eh?

My life is full of such spectacular excitements.

Thomas

John Miller said...

Sir Henry Morgan

They had to start somewhere. I have met several councillors over the past couple of years and I have to say the majority of them ARE stupid.

super intelligent people tend to be navel gazers and as you fall down the intelligence tree you find that the more stupid people are the greater pleasure they derive from telling other people what to to.

Bottler is a classic example. As an accountant I could point out at least a dozen areas where Brown has forced through legislation which he has repealed at greater or lesser speed, according to the hilarity of the cock up.

One example - remember pension schemes. The treasury briefed continuously for a year that the rules were changing to become "abc". Companies were formed, funds were set up, the FSA geared up, independent advisors went on courses, savers spent good money on accepted investments and then - with 6 weeks to go ! GB said - actually I have had a think and we ain't gonna do it.

If a company director - not necessarily a big company, any company - had misrepresented his sales pitch for company shares he could be jailed for between 2 and 5years.

There was no hidden agenda to GB's tactics - he just hadn't thought it through.

He has made growth the only economic indicator on the agenda. If you use any other economic indicator (that was used, pre 1997) this country is in an appalling state.

We have no natural resources. We manufacture nothing. Most of our properties have already been sold to the Japanese or Arabs. GB famously sold our gold reserves ( another example of his stupidity - not because he got a bad price for it per se, as most people say, but because he said a long time in advance "I'm going to sell a whole country's gold reserves soon, what price do you think I'll get?")

When the shit hits the fan, we won't have been able to aford a fan. The Great Brown Turd will hit us all squarely between the eyes.

Sir Henry Morgan said...

John Miller

Yes - nothing at all you said there that I can possibly disagree with ... but I think they're doing it deliberately.

And yes, we are all in deep doo doo.

Sir Henry Morgan said...

BTW, have you read this?

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2008/02/18/npop118.xml

Note that the great unmentionable remains ... unmentioned