Friday, 11 January 2008

Rich, loaded, stinking – and obviously very stupid

I received an e-mail today – it's below – from a CHARMING young woman who's life has been scarred by terrible, terrible tragedy.

It is my clear, Christian duty to do what I can to help her. The fact that she also promising to pay me the best part of $7m is neither here nor there.

In order to rescue her as soon as possible from her desperate circumstances, I immediately replied with details of my bank account to allow her to transfer the money without delay and effect her escape to what I earnestly hope will be not just a new life but a much, much better one. Her welfare is all that counts.

This is what she wrote:

Dear,
I am writing this letter with due respect and heart full of tears since we have not known or met ourselves previously.
I am asking for your assistance after I have gone through a profile that speaks well of you. I will be so glad if you can allow and lead me to the right channel towards your assistance to my situation now.

I will make my proposal well known if I am given the opportunity. I would like to use this opportunity to introduce myself to you. Well, I Juliet Kumassi 21years old girl and I know that this proposal might be a surprise to you but do consider it as an emergency.

In nutshell, My (late) father Mr. Wilson Kumassi was a very wealthy gold and cocoa merchant who based in Accra and Abidjan respectively. But he was killed along side with my mother during last two year's
Rabble attack and all his properties were totally destroyed.

However, after their death I managed to escape with a very important document (DEPOSIT CERTIFICATE (US$20.6m) Twenty million six hundred thousand U.S Dollars deposited by my late father in the bank which i am the next of kin.

Meanwhile, I am saddled with the problem of securing a trust worthy foreign personality to help me transfer the money over to his country and into his possession pending my arrival to meet with him.

Furthermore, you can contact the bank for confirmation and I will issue a letter of authorisation on your name, which will enable the bank to deal with you on my behalf.

I am giving you this offers as mentioned with every confidence on your acceptance to assist me or take me as your child and manage the money.
I am inclined to offer you 30% of the total sum as a mode of compensation for your effort after the successful transferring of these fund to your nominated account overseas

Conclusively, I wish you send me a reply immediately as soon as you receive this proposal.
I remain with the best regards
Juliet Kumassi.


Anyone like her e-mail address? She may have a brother or sister, after all, in equally desperate need. Possibly several. Cousins, too. Christ, there could be hundreds of them.

We must rally round.

9 comments:

Wyrdtimes said...

You may like this.

:)

The Creator said...

What I like about young Juliet is that her story is so transparently stupid.

But it's interesting that presumably some people do fall for this kind of tosh despite the fact that these Nigerian begging letters and promises of vast bogus riches have been so well documented for so long.

I also wonder whether the wobbly English is genuine or intended to lend an air of additional credibility.

There is a very silly story on the same kind of subject here

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=507511&in_page_id=1770

Newmania said...

Ha

Verity did this to ine of these and kept up a corespondence for a year

Mermaid of Moorgate said...

ask her if she has big tits and will do most things for money

Mermaid of Moorgate said...

I dont often forward things on, but a warning to you: if a man comes to your door and says he is conducting a survey, and asks to see your bum, do NOT show him your bum.

This is a scam. He only wantws to see your bum.

I wish I had known this yesterday. I feel so dirty and cheap.

Dennis said...

Have you ever tried scam-baiting? It's a venerable sport. A few years ago I followed one hilarious case. An ingenious and very funny American baiter managed to get one of these creeps to fly to Brussels from Lagos then hang around waiting for an appointment. He captured the whole thing on one of those fixed street-scene webcams, duly posted the resulting video on his site, then emailed the scammer with a link.

Another guy, also using a webcam, got one of them to jump up and down on one leg and flap his arms like chicken's wings.

A third baiter made the scammer pose for a picture bearing a cardboard sign bearing the legend: I AM A WANKER.

Health warning: These people are dangerous criminals!

Dennis said...

P.S. Have a look at this video on YouTube.

The Creator said...

You v. good egg, Dennis. Very funny.

But I worry that, if I tease them too much, they will track me down with their beastly Nigerian GPSes, or some such, and burst in at night and stick knives in me while setting fire to house/car/cats/children/wife, etc., while making off with credit cards, not that these are not almost entirely worthless. BUT THEY DON'T KNOW THAT!

Am heap big scaredy-cat.

Dennis said...

Very wise, Creator. Terror is a well known evolutionary advantage.

I am not web-savvy enough to take them on. You have to know all sorts of stuff about IP addresses & whatnot. Also it's very time-consuming and you have to soil yourself with contact with these swine. I suppose everyone's got to have a hobby, though, and getting them to do the Parrot Sketch must have been a tall order.

Like Count Victor Lustig, who sold the Eiffel Tower -- to a scrap dealer. Not only that, but he told the man the tower was dangerous and had to be demolished. It would cause such a public outcry that the matter had to be kept secret. Moreover, Lustig intimated that a number of others were bidding for the contract, whereupon the scrap dealer offered him a bribe as well, which he took, then vacated the government offices he and his cronies had used (during the summer vacances) in order to impersonate the Minister of the Interior & his staff.

Genius.