Thursday, 6 December 2007

More Labour meltdown

I had been hoping to watch wee Wendy being eaten alive by Alex Salmond in First Minister's Questions. But for reasons unknown, I can't get Holyrood TV to work on my Mac. I've tried it in Safari and I've tried it in Camino. Same result. Damn and blast.

Never mind, I will content myself by pointing out that there is an excellent piece in the Spectator by Fraser Nelson - crazy name, crazy guy! - about the electoral woes facing the Bottler. In short, can he make it to the next election?

But he makes two points that seem to me dead wrong.

First, he describes the Bottler as: 'a Prime Minister who sold himself as dull but competent, and is now seen merely as dull.'

On the contrary, I wouldn't say he was seen as 'merely dull'. I would say he was seen as deeply, in fact instinctively duplicitous.

Second, he seems to take seriously the prospect that Balls may one day emerge as a credible contender for the party leadership and for PM.

I would like to place on record that there is no possibility of Balls ever becoming prime minister. He is not merely a natural backroom schemer and thug, he is the proud possessor of that rarest of rare characteristics: a entirely charisma-free personality. By comparison, the Bottler is a care-free combination of Eric Morecombe and Michael Palin.

There is more chance of Arthur Scargill making it to No 10 than Balls. Even Bill and Ben the Flower Pot Men are more credible (with Little Weed as chancellor).


Anonymous said...

If he does ever become PM, it will only be because of a Balls up in the polls.

The Creator said...

Don't worry. He won't.

We live in an image-driven age. Blair was successful precisely because he had an instinctive ability to manipulate this: charm, apparent sincerity, the capacity to laugh at yourself (however bogus they may have all been).

Brown like Heath, strikingly lacks this. He tries hard but it is always forced.

But Balls is an even more extreme example.

He not only has a stutter – which I can promise you he bitterly resents – he is about as appealing in public as a speak-your-weight-machine mated to a traffic warden.

Allied to his obsession with his 'big brain', ie he always knows best, it amounts to a catastrophically unappealing personality, part Dalek, part clod, part bully.

I'd put your money on Bill and Ben.