Wednesday, 3 October 2007

Why socialists are stupid Pt. 1

This is a theme I hope to develop at some length over time. For now I plan merely to state the basic point: to wit, that anyone claiming to be a socialist or to support, have sympathy with or be inclined towards socialism is, put simply, very stupid.

This is one of the eternal verities of the world: Socialism doesn't work. Ever. In any shape or form.

The great and hideous joke here is that, despite the overwhelming evidence of its consistent and predictable failure, those on the left continue to assert not only its superiority but the need for more and more of it.

True, at least in Britain the jettisoning of Clause 4 may have marked the emergence of a more designer-friendly, or at least voter-friendly, socialism in contrast to the heavy-industry, Union-dominated obsessions of of the 40s, 50s, 60s and 70s. Similarly, in the wake of the disintegration of the Soviet Union only the nuttiest can still contend that communism itself offers any solution. Look at Burma.

Yet you need only consider the NHS and state schools to realise that socialism is still very much alive and kicking in Britain.

These are institutions in apparently terminal decline despite prodigious increases in funding. They also stand in stark contrast to the palpable successes of their private equivalents.

Yet rather than free them from the state, the prevailing socialist doctrine of the 21st century demands the precise opposite happens.

It beggars belief.

The point is very, very, very simple. Governments can no more run schools and hospitals than they can run supermarkets. You have to be very, very, very stupid to believe otherwise.

Imagine if food retailing had been nationalised after the war. We would all still be rationed to a couple of potatoes and a powered egg a week. Which in effect is precisely what has happened with hospitals and schools – except the potato and the egg cost about 10 times what they are worth. And are disgusting.

As I say, socialism = stupidity.

More to come ...


Saltburn subversives said...

Socialism is not only stupid. It is murderous,

The Creator said...

"Bigger shoes!". A cry that resonates down the centuries, a crucial demand that reminds us all of our essential humanity. I salute you! My heart leaps!

But what I say is, "Bigger socks!" In fact, "Socks with toes!" This, surely, is what mankind has been demanding since his first encounter with a sabre-tooth tiger.

Thus is history made. Thus is our destiny reinforced.

My cry? "Onward! To Mars! Not just with bigger shoes and bigger socks but socks with toes!"

What rational-thinking being could deny so essential a plea? Our destiny is clear!

And, yes, socialism is muderous. But I haven't got that far yet.

Incidentally, I have instantly added you to my bloglist. Will you do the same to me?

If not, I may be obliged to come round with my scissors.

I think it's fair to say you have been warned.


Saltburn subversives said...

Dear Thomas

Thank you for your valued comment.
Welcome aboard our important campaign for bigger shoes.

We the decrepit old gits of "The Saltburn Subversives* have been wracking our brains as to how to bring our message to the wider world.

During our usual game of pocket billiards in the lounge bar of the Marine Hotel yestereve, one of our senior editors (let's just call him "Dave") had a flash of inspiration.

"I've got it!" he said, almost spilling his coctail (diesel, aftershave and creme de menthe), so excited was he. "We'll form a political party. "The British Larger Footwear Party!"

And with that he left the company in order to enter negotiations with Julie the barmaid regarding her giving him a lift home to his hovel but which didn't involve his giving her one on the back seat of her ancient Escort. Dave is fastidious like that.

After further discussion we have decided to appoint your good self as party leader.We will of course have to register the Party as soon as possible.Ths will cost £150. Please send your cheque to 'Lounge Bar, New Marine Hotel, Saltburn, England.'For tax reasons please make your cheque payable to 'Saltburn Subversives Quarterly Bar Tab.'

A small price to pay in such an important cause, we are sure you would agree!

Onwards and Upwards!


The Creator said...

Dear Mr Saltburn Subversives,

Vous me faites trop de honeur, as Moliere so memorably put it.

But I fear I must decline.

While your campaign for larger footwear seems to me admirable for the future not just of our country but for mankind itself, I remain convinced that it is bigger socks that will determine our fate.

I have already been in touch with David Cameron on this very subject and he assures me that he is determined to place it at the heart of the next Conservative Party manifesto.

That said, as a token of my esteem I have instructed my private office to send a cheque for £15 million to you at the Marine Hotel, clearly a worthy establishment.

Incidentally, have you given any thought to larger gloves? I am a bit worried about this.

Are we both barking up the wrong tree? Will gloves seal the future of humanity?



PS I hope 'Dave' made it home safely.

Saltburn subversives said...

Dear Thomas

Thank you for breaking the bad news in such a gentle and charming way.

Whilst we admire your principled stand on the matter of socks we have always considered them to be...well vaguely...lefty, (no offence).

No doubt the money will help with our disappointment.

The New Marine Hotel is indeed a worthy establishment, the sort of place where many a happy hour can be spent reading the barmaid's tattoos.

And speaking of barmaids, "Dave" is most grateful to you for your concern. Apparently the negotiations previously mentioned did not go well and he found himself involved in various unsavoury sexual activities until the arrival of the milkman at an early hour when he was able to make good his escape. Thank God for the good old British milkman eh? A dying breed, unfortunately.

Naturally we have had "Dave" tested for foot and mouth and await the results with some trepidation

kind regards

Anonymous said...

Wanna see how socialism is useless? Come to my country, the Philippines.

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