Robot speak

Just two days after Bottler Canute so heroically masterminded the efforts to protect large swathes of East Anglia and Kent from flood damage comes a report that the Environment Agency has decided to abandon all efforts at flood defence in parts of Norfolk and Suffolk 'because it is not cost effective to save them'.

Charged with this apparent dereliction of duty, a government spokesman could only reply: 'Spending on flood and coastal erosion risk management has nearly doubled in cash terms, from £307 million in 1996-97 to an estimated £600 million in 2007-08. The Government will further increase spending to £800 million in 2010-11.'

It is as fine an example of authentic Bottler robo-speak as I have heard for a long time. Boast about how much money you are spending while a) not addressing the issue and b) making precisely no reference to whether this apparent largesse has achieved anything at all