Poor old Bottler. He just doesn't get it.
With all four of the home nations failing to qualify for Euro 2008, he has suggested a one-off revival of the home nations footy championship next summer.
Trouble is, Bottler, we all know why you are saying it.
One, it's Britain, eh? Your great patriotic cause. National motto, Union Jack, great shared heritage. Heart swells. Just don't mention the West Lothian question. Or the fact that you are Scottish. Or that NuLab is in power only because of its Scottish MPs. To say nothing of the absolute political imperative for you of stressing Britishness over Scottishness as a result.
Two, it chimes with your matey I'm-a-dedicated-footy-fan-at-heart-just-one-of-the-lads-never-happier-than-with-my scarf-and-rattle-on-the-terraces-and-sometimes-I-even-support-England-line. A line that is so transparently, laughably bogus as to have us all rolling in the aisles.
I mean, Christ, you can see it coming from about eight million miles away: Gordo wringing every drop of transparently insincere patriotic fervour he can contrive from his supposed passion for the people's game.
Even Heath, with his best plastered-on smile and heaving shoulders, wasn't this clunkingly obvious.
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