Doomed

I learn from Mr Eugenides that Alan Johnson, the spiv-style minster of health, has announced that the two great challenges facing Britain are climate change and obesity.

I think I may have have news for him.

The single greatest challenge facing Britain is how to get rid of the pin-headed, half-witted, self-regarding non-entities who make up the government, each more spastically desperate to set out his or her vision for the future so as to win more and more headlines, each more cretinously stupid than even I might have thought possible.

There must be some immediate way to rid us of these clods.